Bermuda Diary – Septet 2015

Mine and Tim’s adventure began with wheeling our suitcases from our Edinburgh Fringe flat to the tram stop. When one is going on holly day such ordinary tasks become exciting. As we took the tram to the airfield we agreed that the holly day proper would start as soon as we checked in. At check-in, the BA lady said, “How many suitcases do you have, Timothy?” It was at this point that we realised it would be a good trip. We had some drinks prior to going on the aeroplane: I had a Bloody Mary and another Bloody Mary that was for Tim which he did not drink because he decided he did not like Bloody Marys, if that is the plural of Bloody Mary, which I hope it is. By the way, in case you are reading this report and think it seems like it will go on for a long time; just to let you know that it gradually becomes less detailed.

Anyway, the point is that after some airborne gin and tonics and then whiskies with Peter, whom we met in the craft and was going to Honk Kong/Heathrow Terminal 3 (not necessarily in that order) to get drunken; I had to rest in a darkened area at Heathrow Aerodrome and be given glasses of water by Tim. After more waters and then wines and lunch we boarded a craft to Oslo where we did some sight/site seeing.

The next morning, we flew to London and had Bucks Fizzes and salads as we went through the air. Then we boarded a wondrous bus that took us on a secret tour of the underground roadways connecting Heathrow T5 to T3. At T3, we visited Americana Airlines for salad and an aperitif, British Airways for a main course and wines, Cathay Specific for dragon fruit selection (c/o Camilla) and wines, then BA again for whiskies. Much fun was had. Further wines and luncheon was served on the smart new aeroplane of Americana Airlines to New Yolk, followed by a series of mimosas.

Then we had a day in New Yolk and saw the Frick(en) Collection and then flew to Bermuda with more wines and then stayed at the top of the hill with Aunty Monica and Uncle Grahame for thirteen days which included sunset margaritas, wines, dolphins, yacht trips, tax advantages and swimming from the cove and then we flew to JFK airfield and then Boston and made the aeroplanes run out of sparkling wine and had a day in Boston and then wines at Boston and then flew on the big jumbo jet 747 of Britain Airways to London with many wines and then had whisky and massage and shower at Heathrow and then flew to Oslo with wines and body tiredness crisis and then went to meeting at the Museum of Contemporary Art and had a lie down and then flew to London on the late bird where Captain Steve and President Magda went beyond the call of duty to give us the drinks we so urgently needed and then we went homo.

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