Jinkaton Sphynx was once a girl like any other, drinking Hopscotch, playing Doctors and Nuisance Patients, watching the world go by. Until on her 7th birthday, in one of the worst parenting decisions ever made, her poor, well-meaning mother hired a little-known German party pianist, Viktor von Kees, to provide some light-hearted party entertainment. So tragically morose were the heartless ballads the cursed entertainer played that the whole room sank into bitter tears, for hours. As it was little Jinkaton’s birthday, the effects of doomed Viktor’s curse were magnified for her. Her heart grew wild, her hair grew green, and inside her an insatiable lust was born. She spent years trying in vain to satisfy her wild heart and quell her raging loins, but all fell short. Twas only when, at a variety show in Basingstoke, she was subjected to a ten-minute ambush by Mr. Paul Foot, who denies all responsibility as he was “probably one of his alter-egos at the time”, that her raging lust was tempered, her wild heart soothed. To this day she remains with Mr. Foot, defending the integrity of his Guild.
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