Web Log

What the Press say:

Sickly child worker Aaron Kilkenny-Sletcher was born into a cruel world. Shunted from one unhappy home to the next, he longed for the days when he would grow up and become a powerful business trader. Discovered by Mr Paul Foot in a Mumbai dustbin whilst hiding from a particularly vicious prostitute, he was taken by Mr Foot back to Amersham, England to be his worker. As time went by, and Aaron began to grow up, Mr Paul Foot began to worry that he might one day realise his great potential and leave his service, so he solicited the services of a sorceress from Poole to trap Aaron within his tormented childhood. Decades later, Aaron is still in the service of Mr Paul Foot, who appreciates him no more now than the day he stole him.

Tropical Articles

ABOUT: Paul Foot Podcast – Volume 2 Episode 6

The final episode of my popular podcast is out! Well, it’s actually Volume 2 Episode 6, so the final one for a while. Opening with some football chants that I wrote myself, including “Millwall – Up In the League!” and … Continue reading →

Southend On Sea Competition!

HELLO! Jinkaton Sphynx talking here, Paul Foot’s official and also fictional secretary. Are you coming to see Paul Foot on the Southend limb of his current UK Retrospective tour? Wonderful. He WILL be thrilled! You will also be … Continue reading →

New Paul Foot Podcast Season!

Hello! Aaron Kilkenny-Sletcher speaking! Paul has just launched a second volume of his popular footcast! Co-presented with young stand-up comedian and Guild favourite, the delightful and polite TOM MAYHEW, Episode 1 of the new season is now live. Without further … Continue reading →

Win A Trip Around The National Space Centre With Paul Foot!

COMPETITION WITH THE NATIONAL SPACE CENTRE! !!! Two very lucky Connoisseurs will win the chance to go around the National Space Centre with Paul Foot himself next week on Friday 9th October !!! GREETINGS! To celebrate the LAUNCH of … Continue reading →

Bake Off Baybayyyy!!!!

I wanted to write something about the Great British Bake Off. Above ye can see a footograph of Merry Beret, in all her glory, captured by me on the iPhone 6 from across my friend, Ursula’s, living room.* I … Continue reading →

DEDICATING YOUR LIFE TO SELF-SERVICE

I wanted to write about self-service checkouts, just when I thought my day couldn’t get any more adventurous (I was retweeted by Cardiff Castle just now, NO JOKE! Although I do need to make a joke today, for tax purposes) … Continue reading →

Paul Foot: The Dough NOT Saga!

Last week I noticed this item in Sainsbury’s supermarket claiming to be a doughnut but looking nothing like my understood notion of what a doughnut is. What’s more, I could see through the window in the box that they were oozing with whipped cream. So … Continue reading →