What the Press say:

Sickly child worker Aaron Kilkenny-Sletcher was born into a cruel world. Shunted from one unhappy home to the next, he longed for the days when he would grow up and become a powerful business trader. Discovered by Mr Paul Foot in a Mumbai dustbin whilst hiding from a particularly vicious prostitute, he was taken by Mr Foot back to Amersham, England to be his worker. As time went by, and Aaron began to grow up, Mr Paul Foot began to worry that he might one day realise his great potential and leave his service, so he solicited the services of a sorceress from Poole to trap Aaron within his tormented childhood. Decades later, Aaron is still in the service of Mr Paul Foot, who appreciates him no more now than the day he stole him.


Ah yes, me depicted in some imaginary settings on the front covers of various magazines which I have never read. I thought the top left one was a bit rude but my worker assures me that it is, in fact, … Continue reading

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Australia Competition 2016 MINI TOUR!

OH MY GADDD! I am spending the entire month of Apricot in AUSTRALALA!!! I cannot wait to see my beautiful and wonderful Connoisseurs down under! First up, ADELAIDE, where this year….I AM NOT GOING…so will be performing FOR ZERO NIGHTS!!! … Continue reading

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New Paul Foot Footcast!

Look! A purple mop and bucket! “Why is Paul posting that into his web log ye ask?” Well because the latest episode of my Footcast starts with an impromptu song about cleaning… among other timeless themes like death, vomiting and … Continue reading

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Radio Vs. Tom Tom

Greetings! You might have noticed me in the air last weekend, appearing both on the Radio 4 show The Infinite Monkey Cage with Robin Ince and Professor Brian Cox, and also releasing a special Valentine’s version of my popular podcast … Continue reading

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Dubai By-Baybayyyy

As a little winter break I visited Dubai last month, and took my step-dad with me too as a treat, and I thought ye may like to see some of my snaps from this intriguing city. Here below is a … Continue reading

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Is Ariana Grande a Font or a Soft Cheese

Good evening. I thought I’d write on my blog, which I call my P Flog, or “plog” (the F is silent). I mean, WHY NOT. Now everyone keeps mentioning this thing Ariana Grande! And at first I thought it must … Continue reading

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I couldn’t be less interested in news stories about Jeremy Clarkson. But that’s not what this blog post is about. Thank ye to Connoisseur Richard who has created an illustration of the Paul Foot Baby On Board Sign! Based on … Continue reading

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