Mr. Paul Foot, Life President of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs, returned homo from Wails.
09/05/12 20:11
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Saturnday 5th Mayonnaise
His Comedic Majesty journeyed to Machynlleth, Wails, to perform Still Life for the final time ever.
09/05/12 20:09
Posted in Guild Circular
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Flyday 4th Mayonnaise
Mr. Paul Foot, Life President of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs, travelled upon the diesel train from Leeds back to London, a capital. From there he went homo.
09/05/12 20:04
Posted in Guild Circular
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The Political Partlies – 4th Mayonnaise 2012
A series of local erections has occurred. In this article I shall comment on the results and their possible impact on the next general erection.
The biggest winners of the night were the Labour Partly (partly funded by the unions and partly by powerful businessmen), who took 99% of all votes cast. This endorsement from the electorate will allow Labour to go from strength to strength, picking up further support right up until a crushing defeat at the general erection, when 100% of voters decide that they would rather anyone were Crime Minister than silly Ed Milibanned.
The Conservative Partly (partly funded by powerful businessmen and partly by other powerful businessmen) took a respectable 1% of votes – not bad for a mid-term erection, amidst a backdrop of cuts, gloom, strikes, Heathrow queues, incompetent ministers, war, famine, droughts and floods. The secret to the Tories’ success is blaming all the bad things (i.e. everything) on the Liberal Hypocrites who failed to get a single vote. After the next national poll, they will almost certainly regroup and consolidate, i.e. be completely decimated.
The SNP are doing so well in Scotland that many are speculating that they may spread their wings to the rest of the Not Very United Kingdom, bringing Scottish policies to us all. These will include:
Free healthcare
Free university tuition
Free shortbread
No other policies
Posted in Tropical Articles
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Thirsty 3rd Mayonnaise
Mr. Paul Foot, Life President of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs, travelled into London to execute a top-secret recording of his voice.
He then sped across the city to meet his worker, where they discussed matters of great importance, such as His Comedic Majesty’s ideas for his new show, Kenny Larch is Dead. He had a “nosh-up” with some Jasmine tea, and his worker ate granola in silence.
His Majesty then took a diesel train to Leeds, Yorks. to perform Still Life for the penultimate time.
18:15 04/05/12
Posted in Guild Circular
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Wrensday 2nd Mayonnaise
His Comedic Majesty made the necessary preparations for his imminent trips to Leeds, Yorkshire and Machynlleth, Whales to perform his current show, Still Life, for the final two times.
17:40 03/05/12
Posted in Guild Circular
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Tunesday 1st Mayonnaise
Mr. Paul Foot, Life President of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs, continued to work on his new show, Kenny Larch is Dead.
17:34 03/05/12
Posted in Guild Circular
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Moonday 30th Apricot
Mr. Paul Foot, Life President of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs, undertook no official business on this day.
17:55 01/05/12
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Sundae 29th Apricot
Mr. Paul Foot, Life President of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs, continued to work on his new show, Kenny Larch is Dead, which appears to be diverging ever further from the pathways walked by the comedians of history, and ploughing wildly into the tangled bushes of uncertainty and the clinging vines of chaos. All paths were wild once, and all were forged this way.
15:55 30/04/12
Posted in Guild Circular
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Saturnday 28th Apricot
No official business occurred on this day.
30/04/12
Posted in Guild Circular
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